Deathwish
by Jamimlia
Summary: i smell sulfur and cant help thinking of axel and...you


DISCLAIMER: Don't own KH

**Author's Note: **Merry Christmas! This is a present to all my Mental Defect readers for not updating in a long time. PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I have excuses! Alright, alright. And thanks to the lovely R. Vienna for letting me take some of the same concepts from _Unanswered Calls._ (clap clap)

E n j o y ! ~

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><p>Xion banged her head against the bed post again. She can't go back. She can't go back. Gone, gone forever. Never to see Roxas or Axel or Riku again. Gone, Gone, Gone. Can't go back. Whathas she done? What did you do, <em>Xion?<em>

She knows what she did. She'd stick by her choice until the end. Do it over? Exactly the same thing would be done. But that doesn't mean she ahead to like where she'd end up.

She looks at her phone. She used to think they were amazing and fascinating, how you could hear another person's voice. But now it's her lifeline to reality. The one thing keeps her sane in this awful place. She's tried to call him, call Riku, call anyone, but nothing works. Nothing. Stuck. Gone gone gone. Dead inside. Dead everywhere.

She knows the numbers so well. The buttons worn from constant pushing. Numbers almost fading away. Like her. Like her memories. Like the memories of her. Everything is almost gone. So she leaves messages. Messages never heard by anyone else. Because no one else cares.

She pushes the numbers again. 1-(555)-674-1313. So soothing to feel those numbers. Like a lullaby to baby. It's even more relaxing when she hears his voice.

_"Hey, you've got Roxas. Can't reach ya right now, so leave a message. Unless it's Axel, I've had enough of your pranks."_

She smiles slightly like she always did. The next voice is not so comforting.

**{Please leave a message at the sound of the tone.}**

Of course she will. Always.

"Roxas, it's Xion. I miss you. And Axel. Call me back, Okay? Promise?" She practically whispers. Why could she fight Heartless without even blinking, but this makes her sweat and her heart race? Why this?

**{I'm sorry, but your message cannot be sent at this time. Please try again later.}**

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><p>Xion knew it would say that. Nothing would reach him. How could it? It was amazing that she got his answering machine at all in this place. There was nothing here. Blank. Like an empty page. Like herself.<p>

She was getting really good at depressing analogies, she decided. Blanke pages, fading numbers, they all related to her.

Because it was true.

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><p><em>"Hey, you've got Roxas. Can't reach ya right now, so leave a message. Unless it's Axel, I've had enough of your pranks."<em>

**{Please leave a message at the sound of the tone.}**

"It's Xion again. How is everything back at that castle? Are you safe? I hope you are. I mean, I made sure, right? Right, never mind. You're fine. Riku promised. Have you met Riku yet? He's okay, I guess. Not nearly as cute as you, though.

"Oh my gosh! Did I just say that out loud? Ah, forget what I said! ...But it's not like you're going to hear this anyway, are you?"

**{I'm sorry, but your message cannot be sent at this time. Please try again later.}**

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><p>Xion blushed pink when she said that. Even thought no one was around, no one would care, it was still embarrassing.<p>

A hallow hole in her chest ached. She wanted someone to see. She wanted Axel to laugh and tease her, she wanted Roxas to be there, blushing as well.

But you can't have everything you want, now can you?

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><p><em>"Hey, you've got Roxas. Can't reach ya right now, so leave a message. Unless it's Axel, I've had enough of your pranks."<em>

**{Please leave a message at the sound of the tone.}**

"Roxas, do you remember the time you fell into a coma? That was one of the scariest times of my life. I mean, you were my only friend, because Axel was at Castle Oblivion. I was so scared that you would dissappear into darkness like other Nobodies. I don't know why, but I left seashells by your bed every night, because they wouldn't let me stay with you all the time.

"I didn't know why I thought the seashells would protect you then, but I do now. See, since I'm a replica to Sora, seashells were important because of Kairi. Kairi gave him a magic seashell that was supposed to protect him before Xemnas got him. But Larxene or Marluxia or someone took it away, and that's how Sora fell into the trap. So if I gave you shells instead, you would be okay, see? And it worked. You were alive.

"I'm sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I? You're new friends look cool, Roxas. The girl, Olette, she's pretty. Hayner reminds me of Demyx. Pence is kinda nerdy. I wouldn't mind meeting them, Roxas.

"But you don't remember the Organization at all, can you?"

**{I'm sorry, but your message cannot be sent at this time. Please try again later.}**

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><p>Xion was Sora. A being full of Sora's memories. That's all she was. Memoies. Memories, memories. She was Roxas's memories too, technically. Or rather, she was the forgotten memories, since Roxas didn't have any memories. Xion held them all. They praised her for remembering things at the Organization.<p>

_So why could no one remember the girl made of memories?_

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><p><em>"Hey, you've got Roxas. Can't reach ya right now, so leave a message. Unless it's Axel, I've had enough of your pranks."<em>

**{Please leave a message at the sound of the tone.}**

"Roxas, I know about Namine. She's the one who told me no one would remember me when I died, and I had to die or you wouldn't exsist anymore. That's why I did it, okay? That's why I pretended to want to be the real Sora, so you could kill me and asorb me and then you could live. And Xemans couldn't have you. That evil, evil man. I hate him. I hate hate hate hate him. I'm glad you don't remember, because then you don't remember Xemnas. Or anything that happend.

"But Roxas, I did it to protect you. So I don't care about you and Namine. As long as you're happy, I'm happy. And if you're happy with Namine, then be with Namine. I don't care. I really don't.

"But why is it that she's always on your mind and you don't remember me at all?"

**{I'm sorry, but your message cannot be sent at this time. Please try again later.}**

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><p>If this is too much for Xion to handle, she can't imagine what Axel is going through. Having to juggle staying loyal to Xemnas so he doesn't get killed, and loyal to Roxas, his true friend other than Xion.<p>

But no one remembers Xion, because Xion never exsisted.

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><p><em>"Hey, you've got Roxas. Can't reach ya right now, so leave a message. Unless it's Axel, I've had enough of your pranks<em>."

**{Please leave a message at the sound of the tone.}**

"Roxas, I feel so confused, just like you. I don't know. Should you go with Axel, the guy I know you can trust, but back to Xemnas and the Organization? Or should you go with DiZ, that creepy insane guy, who Namine and Riku work for, to help Sora?

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I wish I could help you, Roxas. I'd do anything. Anything. If only I could break out of here. But no one can come back from the dead. It's so lonely here. I don't want you to end up here. But what should you do so you don't?"

**{I'm sorry, but your message cannot be sent at this time. Please try again later.}**

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><p>Xion doens't even know why she's here anymore. Sora is back, Roxas is gone, sealed within. She's part of him, part of both of them, yet she hasn't faded away yet. Why? She wants to go, she wants to become memories of Sora and Roxas. Be together again. So why isn't she gone?<p>

She looks over Sora, like she always does. He still has Roxas's phone, hidden away. But why? Why isn't she down there, with them?

Then she gasps. More nightmares. No, no no no. She clutches her ears and screams before she falls to the floor, eyes squeezed shut in all effort to block everything out. But it fails. It always does.

_This time, it's a girl with dark hair. She's dying, and I just killed her. I did. Sora, the hero. How could I? I say sorry so many times, but she's telling me about something or someone named Xemnas. I don't want to hear that. I want to hear three simple words. Three, but she dies before she can say them. Maybe she didn't want to say those words. Maybe she didn't after all. _

_But who is she?_

Xion wakes up. Now she understands. Why she isn't gone, why Roxas was tormented, everything. She pushes the buttons again.

1-(555)-674-1313

This time, it's only four words she says.

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><p><em>The brunette didn't know why this nightmare haunted him. He doesn't remember. The girl looks like Kairi, but not familiar beyond that. Who is she? Why is she in his dreams?<em>

_As he ponders, his phone goes off. Surprised, he reaches for it._

**{One New Message}**

**{Blocked Number}**

_He plays it. No one he knows._

"Roxas,

I _**forgive**_ you."

_Suddenly the brunette is at peace._

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><p><strong>{I'm sorry, but this number is disconnected. Please check the phone records and try again later.}<strong>

Needless to say, no one ever tried again.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

:D

Ya'll know where to go.

l

l

l

V


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